College Essay Examples

College essay examples are particularly important, considering that the college essay or personal statement typically does not have a clear format to go by. When you write an academic essay, such as the five-paragraph essay, there is a clear and easy structure to follow. 

You begin with a clear and bold thesis statement, which is followed by three supporting statements. These statements are each expanded into a paragraph, and you conclude with a summary that encapsulates the entire essay. This is an excellent structure for formal writing most of the time.

But here’s the thing: a college essay isn’t exactly formal writing. It is formal writing, and then some. It includes the discipline we expect of formal writing, with the subtlety and craft of literary writing. With a college essay, the goal is to show that you have the passion, dedication, personality, and values that would make you a well-rounded student.

In this article, I will provide an idea of the factors you should consider when writing a college essay and provide a few examples of what makes a good college essay or personal statement. 

Working towards a structure for a college essay

Structured writing is awesome. It provides you with a guideline that you can follow, and you can be certain of what is required of you. Unfortunately, you don’t have any such assurance with college essays. The reason why colleges and universities do not rely on a formal writing structure for their essay is that it’s too rigid and doesn’t give students a chance to express themselves.

Your personal statement or college essay is your chance to make yourself stand out from an overcrowded field of applicants. The college essay prompts are written and selected to reflect that fact. This means that you are free to experiment with your creativity and tell your unique story. However, you shouldn’t make it too free.

Regardless of the prompt you choose, you should consider what college admissions officers are looking for when they read your essay. Let’s look at them:

1. Compelling interests and passion for the field of study or a hobby

2. Your intelligence 

3. Being well-prepared academically 

4. Well-roundedness

5. Values that reflect those of the school

6. Your ability to tell a story

When you write your essay, you should try to touch on all these points in no particular order. Because there is a lack of clear structure for a college essay, this means you need to start early and write and rewrite and revise until you get it right. Hear the experience and advice from a student from Johns Hopkins University who wrote a successful college essay:

Writing my college essay was a lengthy process so starting early was a big aspect for me. I wasn’t afraid to write multiple versions and pick and choose what worked. I think what helped me the most in reaching a final draft was letting go of the concept of what ‘looked best’ to focus more on what my truth was. 

This perfectly captures what you need to achieve for a successful personal statement. You need to work on your story until you are satisfied that your authentic and interesting self is shining through. Without further ado, let’s look at a few examples of successful college essays: 

College essay Example 1: Demonstrating intelligence and preparation

One of the most effective ways to win your essay is by demonstrating how well-prepared you are for your field of study. You can do this by showing your familiarity with the field of study in question. This is exactly what our first essay (from the Khan Academy) does. It  was written based on the following prompt:

We are looking for an essay that will help us know you better as a person and as a student.  Please write an essay on a topic of your choice (no word limit) 

Here is the essay in full: 

I'm one of those kids who can never read enough. I sit here, pen in hand, at my friendly, comfortable, oak desk and survey the books piled high on the shelves, the dresser, the bed, the chair, even the window ledge. Growing up without TV, I turned to the beckoning world of literature for both entertainment and inspiration. As I run my eye over the nearest titles, I notice... only three written in the last 50 years. Ahh, here's Homer – by far my favorite ancient author – alongside Tolkien, my favorite modern. Incongruous? I think not. Tolkien loved Homer and honored him constantly within his own work. How could I fully appreciate the exchange between Bilbo and Gollum without seeing the parallel story of Odysseus and Polyphemus in the back of my mind? In the innocent characters of Bilbo and Frodo, Tolkien gives a quiet refutation to Plato's philosophical dialog of Gyges' Ring. Only a classicist would notice. Donne would, over there on the shelf, encased contentedly in his quiet brown binding. Aristotle wouldn't. He's too busy analyzing the Dickens on either side of him.

The deeper I dig, the richer ground I find. I accidentally discovered the source of Feste's comedic dialog in Twelfth Night while translating the Latin plays of Plautus. I met the traitor Brutus as a fictional character in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, renewed my acquaintance with the actual man in Classical History, and hope never to meet his soul in the deepest circle of Dante's Inferno. In all of this, I can sense a bond, transcending time and linking me to Homer, to Tennyson, to Virgil, Byron, and Nietzsche. In my mind's eye, all the great works I've read lie spread out on a gigantic blackboard, and that mystic bond takes shape in a vast connecting network, branching from history to myth and from myth to fantasy.

I've been unconsciously collecting this mental catalog all my life. I was 12 the first time I read the unabridged Odyssey, but I've known the story for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I read authors like E. Nesbit, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Robert Louis Stevenson. As a child, I didn't try to analyze the conflicts of Long John Silver's character or document Kipling's literary devices – I just loved the stories, and I picked up the techniques of great authors subconsciously. Good writing is contagious. Now as a senior beginning to analyze literature and philosophy more closely, I already have a huge pool to draw from. In British Literature this year, my paper on the monsters of Beowulf won praise from my teacher because, having already read Beowulf several times over the years, I was able to analyze on a deeper level and recognize themes I hadn't noticed before.

In college, I will continue to study great stories and contribute in my own way: literature on the big screen rather than on paper. Film is the way that our modern culture experiences narrative. Cinema has always fascinated me as a medium for storytelling, and my passion has only grown as I've studied every aspect of film-making. The vast scope of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy draws me in, but I want to write my own epic. One day, I will create my masterpiece, rich with the wisdom and artistry of three millennia, and offer it humbly to the classicists of the future.

In this essay, the author highlights their lifelong love affair with books. He reveals that, as early as age 12, he had already read Homer and that he could even translate the Latin plays of Plautus. The student displays an intense passion for classical literature. 

He is obviously intelligent, and his deep knowledge of literature and the classics obviously means that he is prepared academically for the world of study, especially in the field of classics. Of course, we can’t ignore his ability to tell a story. He begins the essay with a short yet captivating sentence, which summarizes the whole essay, as well as his personality: “I’m one of those kids who can never read enough.” 

This is further demonstrated in his descriptive writing about his bookshelf and how characters and authors come to life as he describes them, such as talking about Aristotle “analyzing the Dickens on either side of him.” In short, the essay aptly illustrates his passion for the classics of literature and his aptitude for studying these classics.

Notice that he doesn’t simply stop by describing his love of literature. He concludes the essay by linking his passion for the classics with his scholastic goals. He wishes to study the classics “on the big screen rather than on paper” and also desires to write his own classic. This makes him even more interesting as he can modernize and make seem relevant an interest that is often seen as outdated, while emphasizing his own intelligence, ambition, and self-belief.

The table below shows how the student touches upon the criteria I mentioned before:

Criteria	How They Do It
Passions and Interests	The student describes their love of literature and the classics
Intelligence	The student shows that his able to read, understand, and analyze difficult-to-read literature
Academically Prepared	Their ability to read and understand the classics means that they are more than academically prepared for this field of study
School Values	His love of study and the classics demonstrates firmly that he shares the school's values of disciplined study
Storytelling	They begin with an engaging hook and lots of descriptive writing, which paints a vivid picture of his love of literature.

The goal should be a complete essay that tells your own unique story while demonstrating your fitness and suitability for the program you are applying to. It’s not about fitting in as many points as possible. If you work long enough and hard enough on your essay, you will get a good idea of when it feels complete and what should be included or left out. 

College Essay Example 2: Demonstrating passion

The second example shows how a passionate interest, which is not even directly related to your field of study, can help you win a place in your dream school. The essay was based on the following prompt: 

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 

Here is the essay in full: 

During my sophomore year, my dad and I established a Friday after-school ritual. My 

90-minute commutes home from school are normally devoted to studying, but 

Fridays are reserved for listening to music with him. We alternate picking songs: a 

shared favorite or something new. These long car rides sparked my curiosity in 

music.        

I began reading books about our favorite artists and roaming Spotify for hours, 

listening to a variety of new songs. My playlist ranged from The Beatles and Queen 

to Ella Fitzgerald, Debussy, and even Montserrat Caball. Most nights I lie in bed with 

headphones. Music is not background noise, but an immersive experience. I love to 

let the melody overtake me, to have the volume so high that I can hear every lyric, 

every crack and nuance in the singer's voice.        

One night I was listening to Bohemian Rhapsody, completely captivated. I loved how 

the melody made me feel--thrilled yet distressed. I craved more. I wanted to 

participate, to obtain what felt like magic. So I hurried downstairs to our home piano —

an ancient Costco keyboard missing half the keys. I'd never played before, but was 

determined to learn the song. I first relied on Youtube videos, and soon progressed 

to other songs using just my ear. My parents, with enough convincing, agreed to buy 

me a used piano.        

So my dad and I were back in the car. One bleak winter night, we pulled into a gravel 

driveway, the parking lot of an aging, shack-like store. My dad glanced over at me, 

raising his eyebrows. "I'll go in first."       

The door creaked open, revealing a glossy black piano. It stood directly in the center 

of the room, twinkling,bathing in the blinding ceiling lights. I rushed to the piano, 

running my hands along the ivories, feeling their weight push against mine--oh the 

magic of a full set of keys!        

It wasn't long before I released the full potential of my weight, striking the first chord 

to Bohemian Rhapsody. Rich, smooth notes poured out from the piano, swirling 

through the air in bursts of color. They rushed through me, lit up my eyes, tugged at 

my heart, until I was completely consumed in their bright, pulsing waves.        

I used to think grades were an estimation of my self-worth; I thought fixating on 

them would fulfill me, when, really, I was unhappy. Music brings me balance and joy. 

I love escaping through songs and fully absorbing the artists' pain or excitement. 

Playing the piano makes these emotions tangible, and it's empowering and 

liberating. It gives me something else to challenge and identify myself with. It gives 

me another source of fulfillment, one that's even more rewarding, because I pursue 

it independently.    

I practice for hours every day, perhaps to the annoyance of my family. But I know 

they're proud, especially my dad. He's never one to shower me with compliments, 

nor belt along behind me at the piano. But I feel his pride when he blurts, "You 

should learn this song" in the car, or when he prompts me to play at holiday parties, 

his beaming reflection in the piano's lacquer.    

I'm proud of myself, too. I don't know exactly what I want to do with my love for 

music or piano. I don't fancy myself as a concert pianist, nor do I strive to become 

one. I play for the feeling. I'll never tire of completing a song, when my heart sings 

and my eyes start to swim, because every note, every beautiful wash of color, I 

earned myself.

If our first example showed a student highly prepared for study because of their passion for classical literature, this essay shows how a passionate interest can be a release valve from the pressures of study. Both students write about their interests, and take completely different approaches in the process, with both of them being equally effective. 

The student describes how their love of music served as an escape from the stresses of studying, doing so artfully. In the first paragraph, there is just a hint that music is an escape when she describes Fridays as a day to listen to music on the commute back home from school with their father, while the other days are reserved for study. 

They explicitly state the role of music as a hobby beyond study or academic goals in Paragraph 6, when they say that music brings them more happiness than grades:

I used to think grades were an estimation of my self-worth; I thought fixating on  them would fulfill me, when, really, I was unhappy. Music brings me balance and joy. 

This is exactly what college admissions officers are looking for. They want an individual who is well-rounded and who understands that study isn’t everything. In our first example, the student won admission officers over with their deep love of learning and precocious intellect, which there is nothing wrong with. 

Here, we have an altogether more human approach, where the student emphasizes their interest in a hobby that is unrelated to study or academic pursuits. She also centers the relationship with her father and how her love of music has been supported by her father, creating a quiet bond between the two. This approach to writing an essay may well be advantageous to many students.

Because let’s face it, not everyone is a precocious genius who has read Homer at twelve years old. This type of approach is less intimidating as it simply allows you to focus on your strengths in terms of your well-roundedness as a human being. The table below shows how the student touched upon the core factors mentioned earlier: 

Criteria	How They Do It
Passions and Interests	The student describes their love and passion for music and playing the piano as an amateur.
Intelligence	This is implicit in the impressive writing.
Academically Prepared	The student describes her life as being balanced between her interest in music and her studies.
School Values	A student who knows how to balance non-academic interests with disciplined study represents the values of most colleges
Storytelling	The student paints a vivid picture of how music and the piano inspire her and make her a well-rounded individual.

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The ability to tell a story is paramount

One of the reasons why many students find writing a college essay difficult is that there is no clear format or structure to follow. This lack of a strict guideline is for a reason. College admissions officers want to see how creative you are in telling your story and selling yourself. 

For that reason, many successful college essays read like pages from an autobiography or a novel written in first-person. This may be challenging for students who are not used to writing about themselves and who are afraid of sharing details of their personal lives. This is why it is recommended that you start your essay early. 

The more time you spend writing, the more likely it is for you to get used to expressing yourself in this way and finding your rhythm. You should also carefully read and learn some of the storytelling techniques used in college essay examples. There are several techniques to choose from. They include things such as:

• Highly descriptive writing and imagery

• Comparisons and analogies

• Creative hooks to begin your essay introduction

The main idea is to be creative while telling a compelling story and aptly demonstrating your passions, unique experience, and your preparation for the rigors of university life. Storytelling in your college essay means making yourself the protagonist of your own tale and showing that you have the capacity to learn and grow. Let’s end with one more example from an essay that shows off this creative writing ability. 

The essay was submitted by Nicholas from Hamilton College and taken from the university website. Here is the introduction: 

I dreaded their arrival. The tyrannical cicadas swarmed DC and neighboring areas in 1987, 2004, and again in 2021. I was freaking about Brood X, the worst of them all. Brood X is a cluster of cicadas that descend on Washington, D.C., every 17 years. I live in the epicenter of their swarm. Cicadas battled with mosquitoes for first place in the top tier of the human annoyance pyramid. I hate these off-brand cockroaches.

It begins with a hook — a short sentence loaded with mystery, and that whets the reader’s appetite to learn more. The student goes on to compare a species of cicadas that arise from the ground every 17 years to his transformation from childhood to adolescence at the age of 17. He writes: 

The more I reflected, the more I realized these bugs and I are more alike than different. After 17 years of being cooped up, we are both antsy to face new experiences. Of course, cicadas want to broaden their wings, fly, and explore the world, even if it means clumsily colliding into people’s faces, telephone poles, and parked cars. Just like I want to shed my skin and escape to college, even if it means getting lost on campus or ruining a whole load of laundry.

This is excellent storytelling on several levels. We see a turn and transformation in the writer’s perspective: from seeing cicadas as horrible creatures to be dreaded to creatures that symbolize their own need for growth and expansion. In short, he subverts our expectations. It does a good job of showing how intelligent the student is in coming up with this metaphor and even displaying his humor, while expressing his belief that the university would contribute positively to their expansion and growth as an individual. 

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Cite this EminentEdit article

Antoine, M. (2026, January 06). College Essay Examples. EminentEdit. https://www.eminentediting.com/post/college-essay-examples